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Month: September 2023

October Conversation Cards

Reveal: The Masks We See and Those We Don’t

Whether you participate in Halloween or not, October 31st has many children and the young at heart dressing up in costumes and wearing masks. Today, the pandemic has given many of us cause to wear masks to protect ourselves from the COVID-19. But what is behind the masks you don’t see? What do they reveal? Read how masks and mental health can have unique significance in our community in our article "Masks, Masking, and Mental Health."

October Pro-Tip to Foster Conversations About Transracial Adoptions

At Transracial Journeys we send our families conversation cues each month, from our Transracial Journeys card deck, given to all our families at Family Camp and available for purchase. The card deck contains three cards for each month, designed for the children to ask their parents. Below are the questions for October. Before letting your child get started, prepare by reading the parent pro-tip, from the Parent Guide, each month.

October Pro-Tip for Parents: Think about the symbolism of masks and how you might mask your feelings about adoption and differences of race. What can you do to tap into those feelings and let them show in healthy ways? Do you recognize when your child might be masking their feelings? “We Wear the Mask” - Paul Laurence Dunbar

CARD ONE: IDENTITY 
• Did you dress up for Halloween as a kid?
• What was your favorite costume?
• Did you wear a mask?

CARD TWO: RELATIONSHIPS
• Do you think people wear masks that we can’t see?

CARD THREE: EMBRACING AND FACING DIFFERENCES OF RACE AND CULTURE
• Have you ever tried to hide/mask your feelings?

This post is from our October 2023, e-newsletter. If you would like to get our newsletter in your inbox each month, please subscribe.  You will get invitations to our Parent Meet-Up each month, a virtual meeting to act as a transracial adoption support group - sharing issues, ideas and strategies for creating a culture of communication and curiosity in your home, as well as monthly card prompt to keep the conversations about race, adoption, family, love and relationships front and center all year long.  And lastly, you'll always be made aware of important dates for Transracial Journeys Family Camp!

Photo credit – Kristine Heykants.

Black Excellence: Shannon Gibney

Shannon Gibney is a writer, lecturer and professor living in Minneapolis, Minnesota. She was raised in Ann Arbor, Michigan, in the 1980s as a mixed-race kid adopted by white parents. As adult transracial adoptee who has spent over two decades unpacking the intersections of adoption, race, class, gender, power and family—and then writing a library of awarded-winning books that can help us get on board with what she’s been building: the healthy identities and communities we want for ourselves and our kids.

One of the most powerful things that Gibney’s work does is to teach readers how to hold the complexities of grief and loss, of the unknowables in adoption, of anger, of joy, of love, of hope, and then tenaciously use these things to fuel our own work. She is a model of how to turn these heavy burdens on their side so that we can imagine futures where societies acknowledge, supports and celebrates differences, and power isn’t centralized in homogenized communities.

In this month’s Book Corner, you’ll find a review of Gibney’s latest book. Hear an interview with Shannon Gibney from Minnesota Public Radio here:

https://www.mprnews.org/episode/2023/02/17/minnesota-author-shannon-gibney-on-her-new-speculative-memoir . Find out more about Shannon Gibney on her website, www.shannongibney.com

Book Corner – September 2023

The Girl I Am, Was, and Never Will Be:
A Speculative Memoir of Transracial Adoption

Shannon Gibney
 Ages 14-17

Gibney features herself as the protagonist in this part memoir, part speculative fiction novel. Shannon Gibney and Erin Powers are one and the same person. However, there’s a primal difference in that one was adopted and the other wasn’t.

Using documents like vital records, correspondence written from her birth mother to her adoptive mother, and photographs of herself and family members, Gibney delivers a layered, complicated and enthralling tale told in the often underheard voice of a transracial adoptee. The author using her own name and photographs in the book make this book read like part autobiography and part science fiction.

The book is a challenging read that requires some suspension of disbelief. However, in the often misunderstood or misrepresented narrative of adoption, this story is an “authentic” piece of fiction written by a transracial adoptee. Shannon/Erin gets to be an explorer who time travels and jumps to other dimensions in order to piece together the story of not only the families that made and raised her but of the family she builds for herself well into her adulthood.

This book comes highly recommended for families formed by transracial adoption. The style and subject matter don’t make for an easy read but what valuable books are (easy reads)?

Don’t just hand this off to a teen to read in a vacuum, read it with them. If they want to talk about it, then discuss. If they don’t want to talk it’s still important for non-adoptees to read books like and show they care about the perspective, identity and narrative of the transracially adopted person. Just as Shannon and Erin catch glimpses of each other or their birth father at different points in space and time, the reader may catch glimpses of what it’s like to walk in the shoes of a transracial adoptee.

Highly recommended!

Book Recommendations for Families Created in Transracial Adoption

Our Transracial Journeys families regularly seek out books to share with their children and to read for themselves, as white parents of black children. We are fortunate to have a resource in the Transracial Journey's Board of Direcors Secretary, Avril McInally. Avril and her colleague, Vicki Richards, collaborate to curate phenomenal book recommendations for our children and parents.  Both have Masters of Library Science and over 30 years' experience as professional librarians. The Book Corner is a regular feature in our Transracial Journeys monthly newsletters. If you would like to receive monthly book recommendations via email, please subscribe.

Transracial Adoption Family Calendar

Reclaiming the Calendar

by Avril McInally

Per Encyclopedia Britannica, one of the definitions of the word reclaim is, “to get back something (that was lost or taken away).” Think about this definition for a minute.   Generally, I’ve considered the claiming (the taking), but not the reclaiming (the loss that has occurred). It’s how most of society processes adoption.  People generally think about the claiming and the taking but not the loss that has occurred. 

April asks in her cards for September, “What special days do you put on the calendar every year so you don’t forget?”  I  write some things down… my daughters’ birthdays, my fiancé's birthday, vacations to look forward to, holidays, special invitations, deadlines, one of my favorite bands playing near my hometown, medical appointments and more. But, never have I thought what in my calendar is a reclamation of what’s been lost?  What’s been lost and how do I reclaim it? What’s been lost for my adopted daughter and how can I help her regain what she’s lost?

Think about this, Dear Reader, and consider using your calendar to reclaim your child’s identity, culture, family of origin as you continue to build an inclusive, multicultural and “multifamilial” (yes, I just made that word up) vehicle to celebrate your family.  Here are some other meanings of the word reclaim to help you in this endeavor:

 

Recondition

Redeem

Remodel

Regenerate

Recycle

Restore

Recover

(for more about this month's theme of how to use reclaiming the calendar as a way of bringing your family more clarity and confidence, see our post on this month's conversation prompts; September is for Navigating and Moving Through Life with Clarity and Confidence)

This post is from our September, 2023, newsletter. If you would like to get our newsletter in your inbox each month, as well as information about our annual Transracial Journeys Family Camp and our monthly Zoom call to provide support for our transracial adoption parents please subscribe.

Navigating: Moving Through Life with Clarity and Confidence

In September we focus on navigating to move through life with clarity and confidence as it can relate to our family's relationship to the calendar.  As we make our way through the year there are so many ways we can use the calendar to lean into conversations about the uniqueness of our families. Being thoughtful about how our families have to navigate the world differently and talking openly about what we might face can help ease the impact. 

The calendar is the perfect tool to:
• Celebrate the special moments and prepare for the harder ones.
• Honor every person in the family who is connected to your child and to you.
• Ensure you are making time each month to talk with intention about adoption and differences of race, culture, and class.

September Pro-Tip to Foster Conversations About Transracial Adoptions

At Transracial Journeys we send our families conversation cues each month, from our Transracial Journeys card deck, given to all our families at Family Camp and available for purchase. The card deck contains three cards for each month, designed for the children to ask their parents. Below are the questions for September. Before letting your child get started, prepare by reading the parent pro-tip, from the Parent Guide, each month.

September Pro-Tip for Parents: It’s a good idea to add the birthday of your child’s family of origin. If you do not know the dates make an effort to find out and if that is not possible, pick a day where you will honor them in some way and start to institutionalize that on your calendars every year. This will make space to honor those that came before you and while birth parents may not be physically present every day they remain attached to your child and your family in spirit. Make plans to have special treats on these days to celebrate the people that are connected to your children and to you.

Get more guidance on how to use these cards to encourage conversations with your child(ren) while preparing for your own thoughts and emotions related to each topic in our post: Where Did the Calendar Come From?

CARD ONE: IDENTITY
• Where are some of your favorite places to go?
• Why do you like certain places more than others?

CARD TWO: RELATIONSHIPS
• Did you remember a time when someone out in the world did not think we were together as a family?
• How did that feel?

CARD THREE: EMBRACING AND FACING DIFFERENCES OF RACE AND CULTURE
• How does it feel when we are out in the world and people ask us questions about our family?

This post is from our September 2023, e-newsletter. If you would like to get our newsletter in your inbox each month, please subscribe.  You will get invitations to our Parent Meet-Up each month, a virtual meeting to act as a transracial adoption support group - sharing issues, ideas and strategies for creating a culture of communication and curiosity in your home, as well as monthly card prompt to keep the conversations about race, adoption, family, love and relationships front and center all year long.  And lastly, you'll always be made aware of important dates for Transracial Journeys Family Camp!