by Avril McInally
Per Encyclopedia Britannica, one of the definitions of the word reclaim is, “to get back something (that was lost or taken away).” Think about this definition for a minute. Generally, I’ve considered the claiming (the taking), but not the reclaiming (the loss that has occurred). It’s how most of society processes adoption. People generally think about the claiming and the taking but not the loss that has occurred.
April asks in her cards for September, “What special days do you put on the calendar every year so you don’t forget?” I write some things down… my daughters’ birthdays, my fiancé's birthday, vacations to look forward to, holidays, special invitations, deadlines, one of my favorite bands playing near my hometown, medical appointments and more. But, never have I thought what in my calendar is a reclamation of what’s been lost? What’s been lost and how do I reclaim it? What’s been lost for my adopted daughter and how can I help her regain what she’s lost?
Think about this, Dear Reader, and consider using your calendar to reclaim your child’s identity, culture, family of origin as you continue to build an inclusive, multicultural and “multifamilial” (yes, I just made that word up) vehicle to celebrate your family. Here are some other meanings of the word reclaim to help you in this endeavor:
Recondition
Redeem
Remodel
Regenerate
Recycle
Restore
Recover
(for more about this month's theme of how to use reclaiming the calendar as a way of bringing your family more clarity and confidence, see our post on this month's conversation prompts; September is for Navigating and Moving Through Life with Clarity and Confidence)
This post is from our September, 2023, newsletter. If you would like to get our newsletter in your inbox each month, as well as information about our annual Transracial Journeys Family Camp and our monthly Zoom call to provide support for our transracial adoption parents please subscribe.