Book Corner – August 2024

Reviewed by Bear Howe, TRJ white adoptive parent

The Connected Parent

by Karyn Purvis, Lisa Qualls and Emmelie Pickett
Adult Nonfiction

The Connected parent offers a framework for parenting called Trust-Based Relational Intervention (TBRI). TBRI is an attachment-based and trauma-informed approach designed to support the complex needs of children with histories of trauma. This framework focuses on three core principles: empowerment, connection and correction, and first asks parents do their own inner work of healing and introspective processing in order to show up for their children with the most clarity possible.

The book provides personal anecdotes, including religious ones, as well as research-based insights from neuroscience, attachment theory and developmental psychology, and offers practical and actionable strategies for parents. This book aims to help parents understand more intentionally the importance of helping children feel safe, valued and connected, which is particularly important and effective for children who have experienced early harm, neglect, abuse, toxic stress and other adverse childhood experiences.

Karyn Purvis is associated with Texas Christian University, the number five most conservative college in Texas, where students are able to study various religions and are not required by the school to attend any services. My sense of this book is that there is good science here that I’ve seen in many other non-religious-based books and articles, as well as in my own experiences of non-religious therapy. The religious anecdotes may help anchor parents who practice Christianity, and are not so emphasized that non-Christian parents can’t just leave those behind while gaining science-backed insights.

Reviewed by Bear Howe, TRJ white adoptive parent.


Book Corner – July 2024

By Becca Howe, TRJ Parent

Book Corner – Brooke Randolph: It’s Not About You

Understanding Adoptee Search, Reunion, & Open Adoption

It’s Not About You: Understanding Adoptee Search, Reunion, & Open Adoption is a book written for adoptive and birth parents and their therapists. After repetitive conversations with adopted persons (and sometimes their parents) about reactions to their search and reunion, Brooke knew adoptive and parents of origin needed a book on the topic.  

Brooke is a therapist, author, speaker, trainer and an adoptive parent who enjoys sharing with groups of all sizes whether that is in person or online. Both therapeutically and personally, she is committed to never stop learning and growing. Primary specialties for Brooke include adoption competent therapy, Brainspotting, relationship building, and developmental trauma. Brooke is a certified Imago Relationship Therapist, a Certified Brainspotting Trainer & Consultant, and coordinator for the groups Brainspotting Indy and Brainspotting with Adoption.

This year, we are thrilled to have Brooke joining us at the Transracial Journeys Family Camp to help bring to life parent work sessions  centered on creating a brighter path to inclusivity for transracially adopted persons as well as the extended family.  

https://brooke-randolph.com/author-brooke/


Black Excellence – Isaac Etter

By Becca Howe, TRJ Parent
Isaac Etter, transracial adoptee

This month we are combining our Black Excellence and Book Corner featuring Isaac Etter.  Isaac is a transracially adopted person and a social entrepreneur who founded Identity, a startup focused on helping adoptive and foster families thrive. At Identity, Isaac is working on re-imagining post-placement support for adoptive and foster families. He uses his story and deep passion for adoption and foster care education to bring relevant, quality, and diverse resources to adoptive and foster parents.

Isaac utilizes his experience of being adopted to curate deep conversations about race, identity, and adoption. With his unique insight, Isaac facilitates impactful discussions about adoption's impact on children and how parents can support their children in navigating identity and racial identity development. He specializes in helping child welfare professionals and parents understand the unique challenges and joys involved in transracial adoption and fostering.

A Practical Guide: Transracial Adoption.

As a special offer to the TRJ community, Issac has created a special offer - $17.75 for his Identity guide, A Practical Guide: Transracial Adoption. Now including two bonus chapters! One written by Julie Etter, adoptive mother, and an extended Q&A chapter.

Currently Isaac is working on releasing an update of his Black Hair Care guide to include QR links to explanations of tools, products, and also walkthroughs. Learn more about Issac and his work here and listen to monthly podcast episodes of Inside Transracial Adoption with his mom. Link: https://www.youtube.com/@identitylearning

Book Corner – Brooke Randolph: It’s Not About You

Understanding Adoptee Search, Reunion, & Open Adoption

It’s Not About You: Understanding Adoptee Search, Reunion, & Open Adoption is a book written for adoptive and birth parents and their therapists. After repetitive conversations with adopted persons (and sometimes their parents) about reactions to their search and reunion, Brooke knew adoptive and parents of origin needed a book on the topic.  

Brooke is a therapist, author, speaker, trainer and an adoptive parent who enjoys sharing with groups of all sizes whether that is in person or online. Both therapeutically and personally, she is committed to never stop learning and growing. Primary specialties for Brooke include adoption competent therapy, Brainspotting, relationship building, and developmental trauma. Brooke is a certified Imago Relationship Therapist, a Certified Brainspotting Trainer & Consultant, and coordinator for the groups Brainspotting Indy and Brainspotting with Adoption.

This year, we are thrilled to have Brooke joining us at camp to help bring to life parent work sessions  centered on creating a brighter path to inclusivity for transracially adopted persons as well as the extended family.  

https://brooke-randolph.com/author-brooke/


Book Corner – June 2024

By Kristen Perry, transracial adoptive parent and professor of literacy education

Max and the Tag-Along Moon, by Floyd Cooper

Floyd Cooper’s picture book, Max and the Tag-Along Moon, is the perfect story to celebrate all the fathers, grandfathers, and other father-figures in our children’s lives. It is a wonderful ode to the love between a grandfather and grandson and to the things that connect us to each other, even across distances.

In this sweet story, Max is sad to be saying goodbye to his grandfather after a visit. Granpa reminds Max that they see the same moon, even when they are in different places. Max watches the moon all the way home, but he becomes sad and misses Granpa when the moon disappears behind clouds. When the moon reappears, “Max knew that whenever he saw the moon, he would think of Granpa, on and on.”

Max and the Tag-Along Moon is appropriate for children from preschool on up. It offers a wonderful opportunity to facilitate conversations about the connections, both real and symbolic, that family members have with each other, as well as the ways we show our love for each other. 

Max and the Tag ALong Moon

Discussion Prompts:

  • Think about a family member. What is something special that connects you with that person? 
  • Who are the father figures in your life? Think about fathers, grandfathers, stepfathers, uncles, neighbors, and/or friends of the family. How do these father figures show their love for you (or take care of you)?
  • What are things you do (or could do) when you’re missing someone that you love?

Book Recommendations for Families Created in Transracial Adoption

Kristen Perry is a transracial adoptive parent and professor of literacy education.


Book Corner – May 2024

Reviewed by Rebecca Howe

Monstrous, by Sarah Myer 

Monstrous is a young adult graphic novel memoir written and illustrated by nonbinary comic artist and transracial adoptee Sarah Myer. The story is about Myer's childhood years in the 1990s and early 2000s in rural Maryland, taking us from an imaginative and emotionally explosive early childhood, through an adolescence rife with bullying, racism, homophobia, ableism, mental health struggles and the protagonist's reckoning with identity, how to stick up for themselves, take responsibility for themselves and find self-acceptance, all with the help of art and anime.

Sarah was adopted from Korea by white parents as an infant, and they live in rural Maryland on a farm. Sarah becomes obsessed with making art after seeing the Little Mermaid with their mom as a preschooler. They don’t want to play dolls the way the girls want to, and they play well with the boys until they are told to go away for not being a boy. When Sarah sees a Sailor Moon cartoon on tv, their entire world begins to change, as anime shows them a world wider and more diverse than their physical community, and eventually leads them to find other artists and people who think more like they do and accept them for who they are. 

Sarah struggles with turning to violence as the only way they can defend themselves when adults at school won't help, and pushes friends away as a way to process self-rejection and the overwhelming negativity coming at them daily. By the time Sarah is finishing high school, they have found a few good, safe friends in theater and through anime, and upon finally watching Neon Genesis Evangelion, find the empowerment they need to realize they are the only person who can decide what their life gets to be. We get to see Sarah's return to their childhood self to nurture their own sense of belonging, acceptance, kindness and excitement for the future.

 

Monstrous is a raw, emotional ode to being yourself and keeping your heart intact when others are hateful, and through periods when you might not know how to hold on to yourself anymore. While transracial adoption and racism is a big theme in this book, there are many intersectional layers to this story that will be relevant to a wide range of readers. This young adult book is marketed to people ages 14-18, but I would recommend this book to kids as young as 11, with the understanding that there are a few slight references to sex and a handful of scenes with violence in them, including illustrated images of the monster Sarah imagines lives inside them. I would also recommend this book to all adults who’ve ever felt a disconnect from their communities, or who love anime, or who love to get their hearts tugged on by a strong, imperfect, lovable protagonist who becomes the hero they never knew they could be.

Book Recommendations for Families Created in Transracial Adoption

Rebecca Howe is a white adoptive parent who is an author and artist and works in children’s literature.


Book Corner – March 2024

Reviewed by Kristen Perry, TRJ Parent

In the Key of Us

By Mariama Lockington

Not only is In the Key of Us by Mariama Lockington written by a transracial adoptee, but it also is a Stonewall Honor Book for LGBTQ+ books. Thus, it has the power to speak to many identities represented within our families and communities. The story is told through the alternating perspectives of Andi and Zora, the only two Black girls at a prestigious, nearly all-white music camp. Andi is struggling with the death of her mother, which is affecting her ability to play the trumpet. Zora is buckling under the pressure of her parents who expect her to be a flute prodigy, when what she really wants is to be a dancer. Over the course of the summer, the girls experience many challenges and ultimately discover the power of their relationship.

In the Key of Us is a wonderful exploration of first love, an ode to the arts, and a powerful statement about discovering your true self. Although transracial adoption is not the focus of this book in the way that it is in Lockington’s first book (For Black Girls Like Me), there are many relevant themes such as loss of first family/family of origin and being the only Black person in a sea of whiteness. Although the book is advertised for ages 10-14, I believe that teens and adults will also enjoy the book and find it meaningful – I know I did!

 

Discussion Questions:  The following questions will help you and your family open up important conversations about experiences of adoption, identity, and differences of race. Before you engage in these discussions be sure you have grounded yourself in the questions and are ready to both listen to the experiences of the children and youth you are engaging, and to share your thoughts and feelings and model conversational openness. Also, if children and young people do not want to engage in the conversation at any particular time, you can always spend some time in reflection on these questions so when the opportunity is right, you’ll be ready.      

  • Andi and Zora are the only two Black girls at the Harmony Music camp, which comes with a lot of challenges. Can you identify with some of the challenges they face?  How do they support each other? Do you have friends that support you when things are challenging? ?
  • Zora is passionate about dance, which historically has excluded many Black dancers, and finding a Black dancer as a role-model is life-changing for her. What are your passions or interests? Who can we look to as role models related to these interests?
  • In the Key of Us provides a great representation of intersectionality, particularly identities related to race and sexual orientation. What identities are important to you, and how do your identities intersect in unique ways? How are your identities perceived in the world, and in what ways might they represent challenges or privileges?

Book Recommendations for Families Created in Transracial Adoption

Kristen Perry is a TRJ parent and a professor of literacy education, specializing in family and community literacy. She and Mariama Lockington are colleagues in the University of Kentucky’s College of Education. Learn more about Mariama and connect with her on her website: https://mariamajlockington.com/ 


Book Corner – January 2024

This month we are highlighting "Adoptees Like Me" Books, a special series from Dr. Chaitra Wirta-Leiker.  These illustrated children’s books are for elementary readers, and include Marie Discovers Her Superpowers  (2022) and Casey Conquers Bedtime (2023).

Dr. Wirta-Leiker is an adoptee, adoptive parent, and psychologist. She is a consultant for The Adoptee Mentoring Society and a contributor to I AM ADOPTEE, where she serves on their subsidized mental health program review board. She also served on the Adoptee Advisory Board for Heritage Camps for Adoptive Families and the steering committee for the Society of Adoption Professionals of Color in Adoption. You can find her series here

Marie Discovers Her Superpowers
Casey Conquers Bedtime

Book Recommendations for Families Created in Transracial Adoption

The Book Corner is a regular feature in our Transracial Journeys monthly newsletters. If you would like to receive monthly book recommendations via email, please subscribe.


The Gift of Growing up with Books to Reflect a Diverse Human Experience

by TRJ Parent and Librarian, Avril McInally

Image from The Ezra Jack Keats Foundation

Meet “Peter” the small African-American child who inspired Ezra Jack Keats “The Snowy Day”.

Ezra had noticed that the main characters in the books he illustrated were always white. That didn’t seem fair to other children, who deserved to see characters in books that looked like them. He decided that Peter would be the hero of his story because “he should have been there all along.”

Origin of the Annual TRJ Bibliography

A few years ago and with a similar thought in mind, I (TRJ parent and librarian, Avril McInally) thought about searching for books for Black children with characters that look like them and reflect their experience. Then, I thought of finding books featuring characters who were adopted, biracial or LGBTQIA+. So began the annotated bibliography for families formed by transracial adoption in 2021.

A year later, Vicki Richards, a children’s librarian stepped in to help find and vet these books too because, unfortunately, some still don’t quite get the adoption experience right. For the last few years, we’ve been reading lots of books and reviewing them.

2023 Bibliography for the Giving Season and All Year Long

This year, we’re attaching the 2023 Bibliography to this month’s newsletter so you can work to:

  • Support authors and illustrators who are POC (people of color)
  • Support a small, but growing group of authors who are adoptees
  • Give books to our children and families so they can see reflections of themselves in them
  • Give books to white children and families to help them understand the perspective of children who are Black or queer or who have experienced adoption
  • So you don’t miss the boat on giving your children the opportunity to grow up with beautiful books, stories and characters that reflect their experiences

I recommend supporting independent bookstores, especially Black-owned ones and purchasing your books directly from them. If you want to visit a brick-and-mortar shop and don’t know where to find one, just call your local public library and ask a librarian to help you locate one. We have also included links to each book as found on bookshop.org which helps to support independent bookstores.

I’ll see you at TRJ camp in Athens, Ohio next summer with a fully-stocked book sale featuring our book picks for 2024!

Avril

This post is from our December, 2023, newsletter. If you would like to get our newsletter in your inbox each month, as well as information about our annual Transracial Journeys Family Camp and our monthly Zoom call to provide support for our transracial adoption parents please subscribe.


Book Corner – December 2023

The Night Before Kwanzaa

By Natasha Wing
Illustrated by  Amy Wummer and Kirsti Jewel
Pre-kindergarten - Grade 2 

A young boy is excited for the arrival of his older brother. He is looking forward to celebrating Kwanzaa with him and the rest of their family. As a candle is lit on the Kinara each night, simple (yet heartwarming) illustrations depict the accompanying seven principles of Kwanzaa.

There is a familiarity in this sweet book as it may remind older readers of “The Night Before Christmas” - one of the most well-known poems about the holiday.

This is a recommended read for multicultural families as it blends an old tradition (reading the old poem) with new ones (celebrating the principles of Kwanzaa).

Books for Transracial Families

Book Recommendations for Families Created in Transracial Adoption

The Book Corner is a regular feature in our Transracial Journeys monthly newsletters. If you would like to receive monthly book recommendations via email, please subscribe.


Book Corner-November 2023

Our Little Kitchen

By Jillian Tamaki
Ages 4-8

This is a beautifully-illustrated, warm and cozy read with a focus on preparing food with love and with a group of diverse children and adults. Highly recommended not just for Thanksgiving but for any part of the year when you want to pull comfort from the words you read along with the pictures you see.

Jillian Tamaki is an award winning, Canadian author who shows how to build community, love and nurture around the preparation of food in a fun and whimsical manner.As the characters ask the following questions, you could ask the same of the children you’re reading the book with:

● Is your body warm?
● Is your belly full?
● Would you like seconds?

Book Recommendation for Transracial Adoptive Families

Book Recommendations for Families Created in Transracial Adoption

The Book Corner is a regular feature in our Transracial Journeys monthly newsletters. If you would like to receive monthly book recommendations via email, please subscribe.