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Month: February 2024

April Dinwoodie

Continued Reflection: What Love Means with Racial Identity as a Central Element

by TRJ Executive Director, April Dinwoodie

As a kid I remember hugging my dolls, my dog, and my books.  These were the things that I loved and I held them close at heart.  I had lots of dolls but there was one that my mom made for me it was brown like me and had coarse hair made of yarn that looked and felt like mine.  I loved this doll so much. The arms and legs moved and she was soft yet durable.  I loved on that doll so much, eventually part of her hair fell out.   Even then, bald patch and all, I loved her. ❤

Growing up on a farm, there were lots of animals around but our dog Monique was my sister and my favorite.  She was a poodle.  She was black and she was a complete love.  ❤ She would be the one in our room during thunderstorms and we’d hold her tight as we waited for the storm to pass.

My books were another prized possession that I loved and held very close. ❤ Specifically, this set of hardcovered Disney books that I read over and over, I would literally hug them and hold them close to my chest.  I would get lost in these classic fairytales and at the same time, find myself in the family disruption and conflict.  The eventual happy endings gave me hope. 

Confusion of Love and My Family of Origin ❤

With the love from my adoptive family and others around me, I understood that loving people and things meant you held them, you kept them close, and you looked after them.  Imagine my confusion when my adoptive parents explained adoption and my separation from my family of origin as something related to love. 

The mother I grew inside of loved me so much she gave me to another mother, father, and family to love.  It did not make any sense.  I was confused and was not even sure what questions to ask.  There wasn’t any additional conversation and so I wondered about this love thing.  Could I really be loved and left?  Does everyone that loves you eventually leave?   

This foundational complexity was intertwined with the reality that I was a different race than the family that surrounded me.  Yet another topic that did not get enough discussion and with this, my very specific needs that were different than my siblings were not met.

Love and Racial Identity ❤

It’s been a long time since I was that little girl holding tight to her books and dolls.  I’ve had to wrestle with lots of elements of love and racial identity, focus on healing, and find my place of self -love and wholeness on my terms.  Today, I can clearly articulate the things I needed then that would have elevated the realities of love and racial identity in the context of adoption.  As I look back, I can see that many of the transactional elements of love were there but some of the transformational elements were not. 

There was love around me but not enough comfort and conversation surrounding the realities of our multiracial family that was connected because of loss of another family.  My parents did not lead the way forward into the harder parts of our coming together as a family.  There was an avoidance of family of origin altogether. And even though my mother knew that having a brown baby doll mattered, there was a color-evasiveness that left me unprotected in the majority white environment. 

This month, as you elevate even more celebration and honoring of Black history than you do all year long, remember that deeply loving the child entrusted to you through adoption requires your continued reflection on what love means with racial identity as a central element.   Be sure to lean into the conversation cards this month.  Even if you have to sit quietly alone and hold the questions close, do that in earnest.  Keep coming back to these foundation elements even if you think you’ve got this, bring in that higher love!  You’ve got this and I love you! 

This post is from our February, 2024, newsletter. If you would like to get our newsletter in your inbox each month, as well as information about our annual Transracial Journeys Family Camp and our monthly Zoom call to provide support for our transracial adoption parents please subscribe.

The New Brownies’ Book: W.E.B DuBois, Karida L. Brown, and Charly Palmer

Book Corner:

The New Brownies' Book
A Love Letter to Black Families

From Chronicle Books

Inspired by the groundbreaking work of W. E. B. DuBois, this beautiful collection brings together an outstanding roster of Black creative voices to honor and celebrate Black excellence.

The New Brownies' Book reimagines the very first publication created for African American children in 1920 as a must-have anthology for a new generation. Expanding on the mission of the original periodical to inspire the hearts and minds of Black children across the country, esteemed scholar Karida L. Brown and award-winning artist Charly Palmer have gathered the work of more than fifty contemporary Black artists and writers. The result is a book bursting with essays, poems, photographs, paintings, and short stories reflecting on the joy and depth of the Black experience-an immersive treasure trove that reminds readers of all ages that Black is brilliant, beautiful, and bold.

IMPORTANT HISTORICAL LEGACY: In 1920, W. E. B. Du Bois and the founders of the NAACP published The Brownies' Book: A Monthly Magazine for Children of the Sun, which included art, stories, letters, and activities to inspire children, share Black history, and celebrate their identities. As the first periodical for African American youth, this was an important work in the history of children's literature. The New Brownies' Book revives its mission to inspire the young readers of today.

Black Excellence

INCREDIBLE CONTRIBUTORS: This book features the work of talented and exciting Black creators, including playwright and poet Ntozake Shange, writer and editor Damon Young, Def Poetry Jam co-creator and painter Danny Simmons, sociologist and educator Dr. Bertice Berry, children's book illustrator James E. Ransome, muralist Fabian Williams, collage artist Marryam Moma, and many more.

BEAUTIFUL KEEPSAKE: This collection presents a celebratory array of artwork, from detailed paintings and drawings to photographs and collages. It includes stories meant to be shared by children and adults, offering a way for all families-especially Black families-to connect across generations through the power of literature. With its meaningful content and deluxe packaging, this hardcover volume makes a thoughtful gift for new parents, grandparents, or inquisitive readers of all ages.

Karida L. Brown and Charly Palmer

Note to TRJ Parents:

This beautiful book is packed with content that will inspire joy, evoke sadness, and demand reflection.  Before diving in with children and young people, be sure to read through some of the essays, poetry, and articles.  In the center of the book is a graphic essay entitled “I Don’t Want to be Black” -  story and art by KEEF Cross and written by Shannon Byrd.  It’s a very relevant commentary on how some Black children wish they were not Black because of how they are treated.  Please be sure to read this one and process before you read with children.   Not every Black child might wish they were not Black but some may and voice that and some may and not. This essay can be a good starting place to explore the topic when you are ready.  

Celebrating a Decade of Dedication: Honoring Avril McInally’s Inspiring Journey with TRJ

by TRJ Executive Director, April Dinwoodie

❤ Honoring Avril McInally ❤

A decade ago, Transracial Journeys (TRJ) was graced by the presence of an exceptional individual, Avril McInally. Her relationship with TRJ has been nothing short of transformative, not only for her family but for our extended family of adoption. As Avril takes her leave from the TRJ Board of Directors, her commitment and contributions will always be remembered.

Avril's journey began when she and her daughter Mary attended their first camp, in northern Pennsylvania. Inspired by their initial camp experience, Avril and Mary became dedicated volunteers, and Mary evolved into a counselor-in-training and Co-Director of Children’s Programming. Avril's other daughter, Maggie, also joined as a camp counselor, solidifying their family's bond through TRJ's unique experiences.

The McInally connection to TRJ has fortified their multiracial family formed through adoption. Through TRJ, they have delved into discussions about adoption, race, racism, family, and trauma. Avril acknowledges the pivotal role that TRJ has played in helping her balance these complex issues. The organization has provided them with a platform to explore and commit to these important matters, fostering a sense of security and solidarity among them.

Avril has witnessed firsthand the transformative impact of TRJ on its counselors, who found a sense of community among their peers. She encourages families with teenage children to consider becoming counselors-in-training, emphasizing the privilege she has experienced in watching counselors she has known since childhood blossom into inspiring leaders.

Avril's journey with TRJ took another significant turn when she joined the board and later became an officer. As the board secretary, she dedicated herself to various tasks, from recording meeting minutes to fundraising, building connections, and helping to organize annual camps. Her contributions extended to creating content for the monthly newsletter and curating an annual bibliography of essential books for families.

While Avril recently retired from her lifelong career as a public librarian and embarked on her small business venture, an exciting opportunity emerged. She was invited to write music for an independent film. Despite her deep sense of honor and curiosity, Avril realized that she couldn't fully commit to the project without relinquishing another responsibility. With a heavy heart, she made the difficult decision to tender her resignation from the TRJ board.

As Avril McInally steps away from her role as board secretary at TRJ, her spirit continues to resonate. Her camaraderie and unwavering dedication have left an indelible mark, and her hope for TRJ's continued growth and success remains. Avril's journey with TRJ serves as an inspiration to all, a testament to the transformative power of commitment and community. Thank you, Avril for the decade of dedication to TRJ. We are deeply grateful and we look forward to our continued connection.

Transracial Adoption Conversation Cards

February. Transforming: Bring a Higher Love

At the intersection of St. Valentine’s Day and Black History Month, this short month brings so many foundational elements of identity, relationships, and differences for families to explore. Love is a vital ingredient for all families but adoption and difference of race make it imperative the love moves beyond the transactional and into the transformational.

February Pro-Tip to Foster Conversations About Transracial Adoptions

Transracial Journeys invites your family to experience the calendar in a whole new way. With the help of the June-in- April Calendar Conversation Cards, each month your family is invited to use the cards as a tool for more regular and intentional conversations about identity, family relationships, and differences of race and culture.

Each month has four cards with conversation starters. The prompts and questions are designed to spark reflection and ongoing dialogue within your family as well as with extended family and friends. There is no prescriptive way to use the cards, sometimes parents or grown-ups can take the lead and ask the questions and other times, children can go first.

February Pro-Tip for Parents: 

• Explore the calendar conversation cards on your own and think about the prompts/questions - maybe even write a few things down that come up.
• Have conversations with other trusted grown-ups first and anticipate any questions that may come from the children/ young people.
• Be sure you are centered and ready before diving into the conversations.
• If you already have these kinds of conversations with your children, challenge yourself to take it to the next level.
• Explain to children their role and how they will be able to ask questions to you as their parent/caregiver.
• Keep the cards handy so you can use them any time. Consider setting them near the family dinner table or place where you gather as a family.
• Challenge yourself and also give yourself grace - these conversations are necessary and can be difficult.

CARD ONE: IDENTITY

• What is one thing you love about yourself?
• What is one thing you love about me?
• What is one thing you love about someone else in our family?

CARD TWO: RELATIONSHIPS

• Who was the first person you loved?
• Do you think it can be hard to love people sometimes?

CARD THREE: EMBRACING AND FACING DIFFERENCES OF RACE AND CULTURE
• What makes us different?
• What makes us similar?
• What are some new ways we can honor and celebrate Black Excellence, Joy and Resilience?

This post is from our February, 2024, email newsletter. If you would like to get our newsletter in your inbox each month, please subscribe.  You will get invitations to our Parent Meet-Up each month, a virtual meeting to act as a transracial adoption support group - sharing issues, ideas and strategies for creating a culture of communication and curiosity in your home, as well as monthly card prompt to keep the conversations about race, adoption, family, love and relationships front and center all year long.  And lastly, you'll always be made aware of important dates for Transracial Journeys Family Camp.