TRJ

by April Dinwoodie
TRJ Executive Director

For many, January is the month of the "clean slate." But for adopted persons, the start of a year is rarely a blank page. Instead, it is a layer of a much larger, more complex reality. As we open our calendars to 2026, we are invited to look beyond dates and into the profound reality of belonging and adoption.

The Reality of Belonging Lived experience and research show that finding a sense of belonging is one of the most persistent challenges for adopted persons. Unlike children raised in their biological families, we must navigate a sense of belonging that spans family of origin, adoptive family, systems, communities, and the world at large.

For transracially adopted persons, this is further intensified by the "transracial adoption paradox." It is the experience of feeling like an "invisible majority" within the safety of our homes—where we are loved and known—while simultaneously being a "visible minority" in the world. This paradox can make a simple walk through a park or a first day at a new school feel like an exercise in managing other people's perceptions and questions.

Studies indicate that 58% of transracial adopted persons report experiencing racial microaggressions in school settings, highlighting the importance of building identity safety early.

The Threads of Belonging The thread that ties our 2026 Parent Guide and our Conversation Cards together is the belief that belonging is not a destination we reach once; it is a daily practice. Research consistently demonstrates that when parents move beyond a "color-blind" approach and actively acknowledge adoption-related complexities, their children report a significantly stronger sense of belonging. By naming these differences—including race, culture, and origin—we create a family culture where truth can live alongside love. Mapping what matters in January is our first step in ensuring that no part of a child's identity has to disappear to fit into the family rhythm.

3 Ways to Map Your Year with Intention

• Honor the Origins: Mark special days connected to your child's family of origin, even if the exact dates are unknown. Use language like: “Without them, there is no you.”
• Center Cultural Rhythm: Don't just wait for a specific "history month" to celebrate your child's race. Integrate cultural holidays and heritage markers into your year-round plan so they are part of your family’s everyday fabric.
• Prepare for the "Tender" Days: Identify the days that might bring "big feelings"—anniversaries of transitions, birthdays, or losses—and build in extra gentleness. These may not be days to "fix," but days to notice.

Building the Skills for Dialogue

We know that this level of openness can feel difficult. It requires a specific set of skills to talk about separation, identity, and race without fear or defensiveness. That is why we are so committed to our 2026 Virtual Parent & Family Group pilot program. These sessions are designed to be a practice ground where you can develop the vocabulary and the courage to meet your child exactly where they are.

As we map out this year, let’s commit to making our calendars a shared space for noticing feelings and naming differences. The brightest path to belonging begins with you.

Listen to "Calendar Conversations: A Guide for Adoptive Parents" by April Dinwoodie 

Join Us on the Journey

Don’t navigate these complexities alone. Join our first virtual session of the year on January 14th at 7:00 PM EST as we dive deeper into "Mapping What Matters." We will discuss practical ways to integrate the family of origin and racial heritage into your family’s year-round rhythm.